Joining MistressWhiplash.com is the best value way to watch all my movies – there are currently 325 clips available for members to download, and membership is £20, so I make that about sixpence per clip! And if you decide to stay for a second month, you get access to the 450 clips on Facesitting Bitches which means 775 clips for £40, or 5p a clip.
Of course, if you don’t like membership subscriptions (although there are no tricks – you can cancel the moment you’ve signed up if you like and still get a full month’s access) or just want to pick and choose which clips you buy individually (and line my pockets a lot more into the bargain :D) you’re very welcome to buy the same clips individually via the clipstores: Ballbustingworld Clipstore
It’s very rare these days that anyone questions the need to make a deposit for booking a session with me. It’s pretty much become the norm when visiting a Dominatrix, at least in the UK. But recently, a prospective visitor asked me “what if you disappear with my money?”
Firstly, let’s look at why I ask for a booking payment…
Way back in about the year 2000 when I set out on my path as a pro Domme, I didn’t take deposits on session bookings. This practice lasted all of about 2 weeks, when I found that only around 30% of the people in my diary actually showed up for their sessions. At that time I was hiring premises by the hour and I had to pay for them whether or not my sub showed up. Added to that, the closest place I used was an hour’s drive away, so it became pretty disheartening pretty quickly and I started to question my decision to go pro.
One day after yet another no-show, one of the people whose place I hired made a novel suggestion: why not ask for a deposit? It would cover both the room hire and my petrol. I scoffed at the idea: who would pay £50 in advance to a total stranger?! But it was that or quit almost before I’d begun, so I began asking for a deposit. To my joy and surprise, most guys were willing to pay it, and my no-show rate went through the floor! Intermingled with those happy subs though, were a small minority who protested at sending a deposit; they either brought my integrity into question or had interesting and diverse reasons for not being able to get to a bank/use paypal/mail an envelope containing a postal order (Postal Orders! Wow, I’ve not seen one of those in years!)
So, being a somewhat naive 21 year old, I accepted quite a few tales of woe as to why it was IMPOSSIBLE or OUTRAGEOUS for somebody to give a deposit to me, and booked them in on the basis of their assurances that they’d definitely, 100%, swear-on-their-life turn up for their sessions. After we’d chatted about them in very great detail of course. And guess what? To the man, they didn’t show up. A pattern was forming. Now, I’m sure the odd person out there has a valid reason for not being able to make a booking payment in advance (they live on Jupiter, perhaps!) but by and large I found that those who didn’t pay a deposit didn’t show, and those who did, did. Or, at the very least, had covered all my costs and not left me out of pocket.
These days, the second anybody can’t or won’t pay my requested booking fee, all discussion is over; they won’t be somebody I will consider meeting. Even after paying it, the odd sub here and there still doesn’t show up. For the most part, there are good reasons for this (even if the reason is that he stopped in a layby down the road and was “overcome” with excitement about his imminent trampling, or was just unable to get out of the house that morning due to the thought of finally fulfilling his long-held fantasy of being used as human furniture) and even if there aren’t, and he just didn’t feel like it and hasn’t informed me, I don’t mind because I’ve been paid for the minor inconvenience. Hey, I even have a few guys who book repeatedly and never show up, and that’s cool too (by the way, after the first no-show, you pay me the full session fee in full, and you can fail to show up as many times in a row as you like! Please feel free to book in every week if this is your bag!)
Now, let’s look at the likelihood of me disappearing with your money…
Word would have gotten around pretty quickly if I was that type of person. We’ve all heard tales of ladies who do it, but I’ve personally never met one. It’s bad for business. It’s clear to see just from the number of hair styles I’ve had and the retro outfits in some of my older clips that I’ve been around a while, even if you’ve only recently heard of me. Plus, anyway, why would I bother nicking £50 off you when I stand to get 4 times that if I see you for your 1 hour session? I earn far more by being legitimate than I could ever hope to make by being shady, if I was that way inclined. But, quite apart from the moral factors, it seems like a hard and short-lived way to make a buck to me!
Now let’s look at the logic from your perspective, which I actually think is the most important point of all…
You’ve just contacted a Dominatrix, a person you have never met before, and you fully intend to show up at a session where she is going to:
kick you full force in the nuts, or…
fuck you in the arse for the first time, or…
trample you whilst wearing razor-sharp heels, or…
pierce your nipples with needles, or…
perform some other potentially harmful act upon your body.
…Yet you don’t trust her not to run off with your £50?! I think, if that’s the case, you probably have your priorities wrong. A lot more than £50 is at stake when you organise a session with a Dominatrix, and you should do your research and make an informed decision to request a session only with somebody you feel you can trust with both your money and your life.
As many of you are aware, I have a serious fetish for footwear! I have gathered a vast collection of gorgeous shoes and boots over my 15+ years of being a Dominatrix, and now have a selection of my favourite pairs on display in my dressing room in a huge floor-to-ceiling shoe rack. Everything from my famous Adidas ballbusting trainers to my highest Louboutins has a place. Although this is not my entire collection, it is a good reflection of the kinds of shoes which catch my eye… Bright colours, shiny patents, soft leathers, skyscraper heels, spiked uppers and lots more besides.
It’s a bit of a shoe-topia for the shoe fetishist, and I often find my shoeworshippers just want to stop and stare for a few minutes to take in the beauty before they get to work assisting me in trying on different pairs – perhaps testing out just how sharp the heel tips are on their flesh as I trample them, or sniffing the interiors as my feet warm them. Sometimes just lying prostrate at my feet as I try on each pair is enough to put my shoe-loving sub into a subspace heaven.
No doubt my shoe collection will grow further over the coming months and years, which poses the dilemma of how to enlarge my shoe rack further!? My boots already occupy a separate rack which requires some serious enlargement to fit all my favourites in!
The purpose of this blog is to hopefully save some of you who are reading it from volunteering to take part in filming with me, only to be told that you need to meet me first – usually by visiting me for private sessions or occasionally by attending specially arranged ‘new slave’ filming days where the attendees make a financial contribution towards the production costs.
I’m approached several times each week by people I don’t know volunteering their services, and whilst I do really appreciate the gesture, unfortunately I decline these offers – as mentioned clearly on my FAQ page. I have learnt through many years of experience that I prefer to shoot clips with people I already know, because of the vastly varying results of filming with people I’ve never met before.
Whilst I’ve obviously had times when filming with people who are new to me has been fun and rewarding, the negative experiences range from the simple no-show to the paralytic drunk, and in between there have been various stages of unsuitability, crossed wires and lack of rapport. When I film with somebody I have already played with on a number of occasions we both know the score, can bounce off each other and can usually produce content which is fun for both of us to participate in. That in itself is reason enough to only shoot with my own subs but added to that, I also believe that after they’ve invested their time and money to serve me, it’s the least I can do to give them preference for filming if they wish to participate.
I fully appreciate and understand that not everybody can afford the luxury of private sessions, or perhaps are only into filmed scenes, but happily for me I’m in a situation where I have plenty of subs who have expressed an interest in taking part in filming and don’t need to cast my net any further at the moment. My subs have a multitude of specialities which cover all the areas I’m particularly into, so unless you have an ass like a wizard’s sleeve which I can pull solid gold coins out of at will, it’s unlikely your particular skill will make me want to go against years of experience and take a chance on you. Yes – even you, the guy who claims he can self-fellate to the balls 😉
This is covered briefly in my FAQ section but I think it’s worth covering in a bit more detail here as it comes up time and time again.
I receive several offers every week from subs whom I have never met and don’t know in the slightest, offering to come and do household chores for me. After all, they feel I am far too busy being dominant and cool to want to do these things myself. I also get regular offers from people, similarly unknown, who claim to want to give up their life and move in with me, to be at my beck and call 24/7 for the rest of their natural lives (which won’t be very long, going by their suggestions that I nourish them exclusively with my bodily waste!)
Both of these offers and a myriad of similar ones, taken at face value, seem very selfless and giving on the part of the submissive and, perhaps understandably, they feel insulted when they receive my polite refusal of their kind offer, or the response that I will be happy for them to serve me, provided they pay me my usual tribute for my time. This is probably why many of them respond to my refusal with a torrent of insults about how I’m not a proper Dominatrix anyway, I’m just a mercenary, I’m shallow and cruel (a cruel Dominatrix – quelle surprise!) etc., etc. However, when you look at these offers in a more objective way, perhaps my viewpoint will become more clear…
1. I have never met you, and you want me to give up a day of my very limited free time in order to supervise you cleaning or otherwise working “for me”. By the way, you’d like me to be wearing head-to-toe rubber and 6-inch heels, wielding a whip and regularly punishing you when you spill things, break stuff, or just don’t carry out the work to my specifications. You also don’t want to work too hard or for too long, as it’s your day off work after all, and everyone needs some R&R time.
2. Whilst this is going on, I will not be able to session with others (i.e. earn money to pay for things like my premises and the aforementioned full rubber outfit) because you’re probably shy and don’t want to be seen by others, and even if YOU aren’t shy, my other visitors probably don’t want a chap in a pink satin dress and heels stumbling noisily around with a vacuum cleaner like an extra from a Queen video as they try to open up to me about their deepest, darkest femdom fantasies.
3. At the end of your time spent grafting for me at no gain to yourself (we’ll gloss over the part where you initially emailed me saying how serving me in that capacity would make all of your dreams come true), you think it’s only fair if I return your gift of time by giving you a free session. After all, I can’t really think that I’ve given you enough of my time already by supervising you all day, can I? It’s been YOU doing ME the favour, after all. Even if we overlook the fact you’d have already spent several hours under my supervision, if you consider how much I’d pay a professional for that duration of work, I won’t be owing you very much time at all. In fact I could take on a full time skilled and competent cleaner for the price of a couple of hours of session time with me (and I hopefully wouldn’t have to wear that pesky rubber outfit whilst they dusted my ornaments!)
4. You’re not insured like a professional cleaner/tradesman would be, so when you spill bleach on my carpet, paint the dog pink, flood the kitchen, cover every imaginable surface including plug sockets with a fine layer of caustic soda for no apparent reason, get over excited and spunk in the laundry basket or perhaps cause the toilet to overflow because you thought it’d be nice to put not one but five foaming disinfectant flush blocks in it (all these things and more have happened back in my foolish youth when I thought sissy maids and subbies could be left unattended) it’s me who has to rectify the situation. This is not to say that some of you aren’t or wouldn’t be excellent cleaners/workers, but the fact remains that if I’ve never met you and you have no intention of investing some time and money visiting me for sessions and gaining my trust then unfortunately I have no intention of investing anything in you either.
24/7 Live-in slaves:
1. First of all, I wonder whether you have considered just how odd it is that you should offer to give up your whole life and identity to relocate and become the slave of a woman you’ve never met and really only seen in a few videos (if you’ve even bothered to research me THAT fully), but I guess you have considered everything fully, because you declare in your (decidedly impersonal, cut-and-paste-looking) initial email that you LOVE ME ETERNALLY. Even though we’ve never met, and you have to pause briefly at the end of your grovelling email to ask me what nationality I am and which country you will need to travel to in order to fulfil your lifelong dream of serving me and only me.
2. You want me to keep you captive in my cell/shed/attic/cupboard under the stairs/cage at the end of my bed, with supervised toilet breaks, daily whippings, hour upon hour of supervised chores (me in that rubber outfit again, no doubt!) as, after all, you’re “a pathetic worm of no value whatsoever”, apart from seemingly all of my time, energy and dedication. It’s going to be just lovely having a snoring, farting, unknown man caged at the foot of my bed every night until he dies of scurvy, I can tell you! You won’t cramp my style at all. I’m such a lucky girl!
3. You are quick to point out that you won’t be paying me for the privilege of gracing me with your company forever, as I should want to do this (with a complete stranger) at no charge if I am a “proper lifestyle Dom”, and should appreciate your offer for the selfless and genuine one it is. If I bring up such subjects as the cost of board and lodgings nowadays, payment for my time, or the fact I’m just not sure I want a complete stranger to move into my home and share my whole life, I will be called out as the ungrateful money-grabbing charlatan that I am. It will be “my loss” and you’re going to tell everyone what a phoney “instadomme” I am unless I reconsider immediately.
4. Obviously very few, if any, people actually WANT to be a 24/7 live-in slave in its true sense – particularly to someone they’ve never even met – and I should imagine a similar number of people actually want to be 24/7 Dom/Domme to somebody, as it must be very draining both physically and emotionally – it’s certainly not my thing as I like to get out of that rubber catsuit and put down my whip sometimes. As soon as you write to a Domme offering this, you should probably be prepared that your offer will be treated with scorn, distaste, or in my case just the indifference I feel it deserves. As far as I’m concerned, if you make the offer in the first place then by default you’re not serious, as I make my feelings about such things clear on my website. Therefore there’s no need to even make the offer in the first place, if you’re as devoted and diligent as you claim to be, as you’d already know you’re not the sub for me, as much as you yearn to be.
To conclude, I’m very happy with my little crew of devotees who serve me personally to different degrees which fit in with both their lives and mine. They’ve all earned their positions of trust by various means over time, and I’m sure the main reason they have evolved the wish to serve me in a personal capacity as well as in session is because I have also earned a position of trust with them over the time we have known each other. I simply don’t have the time, energy or inclination to take a chance on giving an unknown this kind of privilege. The fact I don’t want you to come and serve me in this capacity is by no means a slur on your character – after all, we’ve never met – it’s just a reflection of the fact that I’m a very busy person and choose to spend what time I do have in other ways.
Really though, if you’d like me to take you seriously when you contact me about organising a session – and if you are hoping for a reply at all – please do make sure you read through my session information and FAQ’s page before hastily firing off that contact form. Currently well over 50% of people who contact me ask questions which are clearly answered on this site already. I will only consider seeing people who can show they are genuine and serious about wanting to visit, and you simply don’t come across that way if it’s obvious you haven’t bothered to read through my site.
If you’ve contacted me asking about a session recently, haven’t had a reply and are wondering why, it might be a good time to take a look at that sessions page! I’ll gladly give up my time replying to your messages IF you demonstrate you’ve spent some of your time reading my site fully. Otherwise, unfortunately, we won’t be meeting any time soon.